Too often Christians seek marriage, without seeking God first.
I wish all people were like me, but each has a particular gift from God: one has this gift, and another has that one.1 Corinthians 7:7
I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband.1 Corinthians 7:32-34
At the resurrection people will neither marry nor be given in marriage; they will be like the angels in heaven.Matthew 22:30
Christians are so eager to flee from sin that we pay no attention to what direction we are fleeing.
Of course it is good to flee from sin. But why flee from sin towards something else that is earthly, specifically marriage, even if it is a good earthly thing when you could flee into the protection of the greatest to ever exist?
Imagine you are being chased by an insane cat. What do you run to, the open field where if you ran hard enough you would be able to stay just out of the cats reach, or do you run to the massive German Shepard that would scare the claws straight out of the cat?
Of course you would run to the dog. The dog is safe, the dog is kind and the dog is going to protect you. You never have to run from the cat when you are with the dog.
The dog wants to protect you, he loves you so much, and he is so happy that you are saving yourself from the evil cat, but the dog knows that you wouldn’t have to run so fast if you would just run towards him.
So why then do we flee to the field and not to the dog?
Why do we flee sexual immorality towards the open field, when we could flee towards God?
Not seeking marriage will help your marriage.
I am a firm believer in the fact that you can not pour into someone else’s life without having something to pour in the first place. That is just a really theological and confusing way to say, you can’t make someone else happy, unless you are already happy.
Fulfillment works the same way. You can not help to fulfill someone, unless you have already been fulfilled, a starving chef won’t cook for others.
You can not be a good husband or wife, and pour into your spouse, without first having been poured into by the Lord.
The more you seek after marriage the more of your personality it will take over. The same is true for anything. The more I want to dunk, the more time I spend at the gym, and once I finally dunk, the more of my time I have to fill with something new. The same is true for all of our goals. The more I focus on my school the more bored I am in the summer and over breaks.
The more I think about getting married (even though I am only 18), the more I start to think about girls, and the more I start to think about the girls, the less time I have to focus on this blog, my school, my senior project, my family, and especially my relationship with God.
This doesn’t mean God doesn’t want humans to get married, He created marriage to protect us from ourselves, and to show us his love. This just means that before you seeking marriage, seek God. Everything will become a lot more rewarding. God wants to guide your life and pour His Love into you.
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Carl, I think this perspective could lead to a very happy and healthy marriage! 🙂
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I think so too, the only problem is learning to take my own advice.